I turned out OK....mostly

I don't have any little kids around but I can't help but see articles on kids, from birth to teens on the internet--some are newspaper articles, some are blog posts.

They didn't have them when I had young ones around, but apparently, there are books that tell you what your child should be doing at any point in his/her life--how they relate to family at certain ages, when they discover their own sexuality, and lots of other things that I never thought about, much less worried about, when raising a baby. It never occurred to me that a baby would be 'finding his/her place in the family' at any particular age or discover the difference between friends and family at a different age. I'm sure that there is value in knowing some of these things, but I fear some parents tie their kid to the timetable in the book and that's a scary thought.

And, then there is the assuming that your kid does fit the book and you want to be the perfect parent and encourage at just the right moment. I can understand wanting to do all the right things and say all the right words and read all the right books to your children. But, come on, if you screw up--and you will because you're human--I don't think it would permanently damage any kid. If anything, kids are resilient and forgiving.  That's based on actual experience because my parents were not perfect and I didn't start a cult or go live in a cave because I was disillusioned with the world. 

Not long ago, I read a blog post about the possibility of confusing a little one about Santa Claus.  I'm not an expert by any means, but, I don't remember anything from being two. And I certainly never had any anxiety about confusing Santa with the neighbor or any other man as I grew up. I remember my phone number from when I was 3 (It was ATwater1-4346) and bringing home our puppy, Bruno. Other than that, most of my early 'memories' are based on hearing the family talk about the 'early days'.

I just feel that, sometimes, trying too hard can be more difficult for the parent than the child. Don't try so hard. They'll be ok.


LuAnn @ BackPorchervations said...

I remember my 2nd birthday party, because I got one of those pull-along phones where the eyes bob up and down and it squeeked...a lot. I probably can remember that from nearly *gulp* 50 years ago, because there was a picture taken at the time.

When I had my first child, in December of 1996, my mother gave me the book she had used for advice when I was born. The book was written in the 1950's. She was at first surprised that I wasn't following it to the letter, and then later that settled into disappointment and/or being offended. The two of us, while imperfect, both turned out ok.

Thanks for visiting my blog and have a great weekend!


Everything you said it's true! I never got confused with anything, my parents were loving parents, but strict sometimes and hey, I turned out just fine, I have no bad memories, or am I with sick memories I need a shrink, lol! Kids this days are confused with all the stuff that's around and parents follow one criteria and another they read, or see on TV!! My hubby has wonderful human beings as siblings and they were also brought up with love and strictness!! Thanks for your post and for your lovely visit. Hugs,

Nell at njschout said...

I agree. Trying to fit our children into molds is rather scary. They need to know that they are loved by their family, and they all develop at their own pace.

Jennifer said...

Great post! The pressures of raising a child now are crazy! From one moment to the next, someone's telling us what to give our kids, what not to give our kids, what to do with our kids, yada yada yada! My mom always says she never had to deal with all of that stuff and she raised happy, healthy kids! LOL!

Anita said...

I see that your other readers think your words are wise, and so do I. Now, let me see if I can act upon your words more often. :)

Actually, I'm not quite a helicopter parent, but I do have my moments. Pressure from everywhere and everybody makes it difficult to know that they'll be okay.

Thanks. :)

Karen @ Beatrice Euphemie said...

I am new to your blog and so far enjoying myself reading a few past posts and this one. A breath of fresh air, I would say.
I found you from a comment you left on my blog, thank you for visiting.
Now, on to the subject at hand...I am in agreement. So many pressures on young parents these days. When I was raising mine, I did try and keep up on the latest child psychology, just to understand some different behaviors, usually when I was finding some bad behaviors! ha ha! Otherwise, I felt happy with myself that I had them fed, clothed, adjusted to whatever was going on at the time, and I never worried about their reactions to finding out about Santa claus. Kids are resilient and as long as you love them, they will turn out just fine. xx

Oh, I am now a follower :)

Lovable Derek said...

Thanks for this thoroughly enjoyable common sense post.

Anonymous said...

I don't remember much about my childhood. I read lots of books when I had my children too, and as far as putting their face on my blogs..I do it sparingly in consideration of security!

Karen said...

Hi, Thanks for your post. They do finally stop sucking their thumbs, don't they!

Sarah said...

Great post! Amen!

joy said...

I believe good judgement and being a good example the best way to raise a child. And of course love.

Belle said...

I think if you love your children then all will be well. Good advice here.