I turned out OK....mostly

I don't have any little kids around but I can't help but see articles on kids, from birth to teens on the internet--some are newspaper articles, some are blog posts.

They didn't have them when I had young ones around, but apparently, there are books that tell you what your child should be doing at any point in his/her life--how they relate to family at certain ages, when they discover their own sexuality, and lots of other things that I never thought about, much less worried about, when raising a baby. It never occurred to me that a baby would be 'finding his/her place in the family' at any particular age or discover the difference between friends and family at a different age. I'm sure that there is value in knowing some of these things, but I fear some parents tie their kid to the timetable in the book and that's a scary thought.

And, then there is the assuming that your kid does fit the book and you want to be the perfect parent and encourage at just the right moment. I can understand wanting to do all the right things and say all the right words and read all the right books to your children. But, come on, if you screw up--and you will because you're human--I don't think it would permanently damage any kid. If anything, kids are resilient and forgiving.  That's based on actual experience because my parents were not perfect and I didn't start a cult or go live in a cave because I was disillusioned with the world. 

Not long ago, I read a blog post about the possibility of confusing a little one about Santa Claus.  I'm not an expert by any means, but, I don't remember anything from being two. And I certainly never had any anxiety about confusing Santa with the neighbor or any other man as I grew up. I remember my phone number from when I was 3 (It was ATwater1-4346) and bringing home our puppy, Bruno. Other than that, most of my early 'memories' are based on hearing the family talk about the 'early days'.

I just feel that, sometimes, trying too hard can be more difficult for the parent than the child. Don't try so hard. They'll be ok.

being older than dirt and other stuff

It's very  seldom that I tell anybody my actual age because it's just a number and I really don't want to be judged by it. I have always told the children that I am 'older than dirt'--which makes them titter and satisfied with my answer. Well, before we moved, we took some flowers to our neighbor. On the way back, Otterboy and I were walking down the drive and he looks at his dirty hands. Then he smiles and holds them up for me to see the dirt and says, "Here ya go, Peachy (that's what they call me). I have some of your first friends."

I'm not sure why I never bought brown eggs in the US. I saw them in stores, but never bought them. There is no choice here. All the eggs in the store are brown. I guess they have different colored chickens here.

When I say the number '2500' aloud, I say 'twenty five hundred'. Here it is 'two and a half thousand'.

I still think it's weird that, in the words 'fillet' and 'debris', all the letters are pronounced. And 'cafe' is pronounced 'calf'.


I ordered some earrings from LuShae Jewelry. I can't say which ones because they are for a birthday present but was very pleased when I got them. The quality is something that impressed me (and that's not an easy thing to do!). Everything about them sparkled! The order didn't take long at all, even for being shipped to New Zealand.  Head on over there and check them out! Just click here.

So far,in our town, the water is paid for yearly by the home owner. They are slowly but surely putting in individual meters, but looks like it will be a while before that system is complete.

Funny how brand names are used on the same items. In America, a permanent marker is a 'magic marker'. Here it is a 'vivid'.

Any drink with lemon in it is referred to as 'lemonade' here, whether it's Sprite or the kids' drink Raro (Kool-aid).

I find it confusing when US and BBC programs use both metric and imperial measures. Mostly, it's metric here, but why don't they sell eggs by 10's instead of dozens? And photos are printed in 6X4 or 5X8 or 8X10.

I'm still willing to sacrifice something huge for Italian sausage for a pizza.

Have you ever heard of a 'green prescription'? Well, it's a weird (voluntary) thing set in motion from the nurse in the clinic. On a regular prescription pad, they 'prescribe' that you should exercise for health and weigh loss [this paper you should keep on the fridge]. Then, they turn your name in to a local group who calls to give info on all the activities you should be interested in (but you're not, really) and discuss your limitations and suggest things you can do (but probably won't). Maybe I'll get motivated after everything is put away.

They don't know everything, but some things are obvious

I have to face the facts. I have had a lot of adjusting to do over the last three years.

My life used to be simply living alone, working my 5 days a week and rationalizing the purchase of flannel sheets with cowboys on them.

Now, my schedule is 4 days with the kids and then 4 days with just the Hubby (according to Hubby's work schedule) over and over and over. I am very content with the arrangement, but the kids still amaze me at how different they are from my younger days. They are much more mature in their thinking than I was. And they say what's on their mind more than I did but sometimes that's not quite so mature.

I mean, when I was growing up, the only thing that was spoken through the bathroom door was a pleading, "Hurry up!" Our children sing, "We know what you're do-ing!" Quite a lot. Any time I am not alone in the house, as a matter of fact. And it makes me giggle, whether it's directed at me or one of the other family members.

I try my best to imagine saying that to my father through the bathroom door, and all I can conclude is...well, suffice it to say that I would 'learn my lesson the hard way' but only after I had run away from home and come back because I was hungry.

In my old life, I would probably have considered them disrespectful or rude words, but now I just believe it shows that the kids are comfortable with their evil step-mom and I can live with that.

For my children when you are 21

You will learn a lot of things over a lifetime and it will, hopefully, be a wonderful experience. There will be ups and down (as there are in every life), but if you are secure in who you are and what you stand for, you can see things from different angles and learn a few things as you go along.

I have put down a few things that I feel are important for you to know, if you haven't learned them already.

Words are very powerful tools that can be deadly weapons. Always choose your words wisely because you can never take them back.

You are not perfect, and it's ok. You will make mistakes. We all do. When you make a mistake, take it in stride and take responsibility for it. Apologize to anyone you have wronged. You will feel better about yourself and so will the other person.

The world will keep turning and nobody will fall off if you fail to express an opinion. Really.

When someone is speaking, LISTEN. Don't start forming your rebuttal before they finish their sentence. HEAR what they have to say before you speak.

You don't have to prove you are smart by giving a diatribe every time you open your mouth because we love you the way you are. Sometimes, you can even let others 'tell' you something you already know. It will boost their self-esteem and won't cost you a thing.

When others disagree with you, it's not a personal attack. It's the start of a discussion-in fact, you may learn something new by listening to their side.

Communicate with everyone who is important in your life. The more information you give, the more your caring shows.

Always be the "bigger" person. Be the first to speak or do. Yes, it involves some extent of being vulnerable, but you have to trust people, sometimes.

"I am what I am" is a cop-out for people who care more about themselves than others. Don't think yourself so important that you can't be bothered to change to make yourself or someone else happy.

You don't lose any of yourself when you put other people first. At the end of the day, you are a better person.

We still have a few years together before you fly from the nest. There will be some 'growing pains' but I hope they are happy times and you remember them fondly.

Lots of love,

Your evil stepmom

We have a winner...or two!

At the beginning of October, we went out to enjoy the Rhododendron Fringe Festival and the four of us took oodles of pictures. It was interesting to see how alike a lot of our pictures were, but also how diverse some of the subjects were. We all chose the pictures we wanted to enter the photo contest and they were all printed up and sent in--a total of about 20. It seems that 14-year-old Missy has the keen eye of the family, because, out of over 200 entries, she was the winner of the overall best picture, besides the same photo being the winner in the children's division, too!



This is her winning photo, much to the chagrin of a nameless cross-town rival!

And this is my 2nd place winner in the animal division.

We are very proud of our endeavors with photography, since none of us have any prior experience to speak of.

We are also proud of Missy on her educational accomplishments. She was the top prize-winner [we called them awards] in her class for her excellent grades and will have her picture in the paper for that, as well. Of course, it was her first year in high school and the students won't be streamed into groups until next year, so it was just general courses for her that she found rather easy. Next year might be a different story to tell, but I think she will hold her own when the going gets tougher. In addition to being a good photographer, she is also a budding author!