Love, Marriage and Stinking Thinking

I caught part of this show 'Love, Marriage and Stinking Thinking' on TV today. And, I must say I agree with a lot of what Mark Gungor says.
This particular show was about the myth that 'I have to be honest with my feelings.' Here are some highlights.
Would you talk about 'how you really feel' to your boss? Of course, not! At least, not if you want to keep your job! Musicians don't become great by 'feeling' like it. They practice and practice and get past whether they want to or not. Success always overcomes 'feelings'.
So why would you feel you have to 'be totally honest' in the most important relationship you ever have--your marriage? When you 'emotionally vomit' all over someone else by telling them 'what you feel', it's never justified and you are just being mean.
When you say 'what you feel', you are saying 'What I think or feel is much more important than you are and I don't care what affect my words may have on you.'
You might 'feel' differently tomorrow, but the damage was done today. Words hurt. They make some very deep wounds. How does this help?
What's wrong with just being 'nice'? You don't tell a new mother that her baby is ugly, so why do you tell your spouse what you don't like about them?
Your spouse is the most important person you have. Live with them by what you believe--not what you feel. Don't treat strangers better than your spouse.


Marja said...

Excellent post I completely agree.
Although I must say I am a little guilty It is so easy to project a lot on your husband. Thanks for creating awareness.

Lorac said...

I didn't see the show but I agree. There is a time when little white lies are not only acceptable but the kind way.
Hawks are so cool! i love to watch them soar on the wind and swoop down after prey!.They are beautiful in the air!

mommytoalot said...

Never heard of the show..but he sounds right on.
Ummm I can't say i've been very good with listening to my spouse's feeling as of late..he's been driving me bonkers.
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